Mental help. Input greatly appreciated.?

Question by nieldsy19: Mental help. Input greatly appreciated.?
I am a 15 (16 in a month) year old caucasian male. I am above average intelligence. (IQ is verified 137) I am undecided on religion. Not a good subject for me. My parents are fine. I know that my mom has either ADD or AD-HD and takes pills for that and generalized anxiety disorder.
Okay… This is probably going to be lengthy. I am just having some problems I kind of want to get off of my chest and want the opinion of some people on whether or not they believe anything is wrong with me, and if so what.

I have what I feel moderate/severe social problems. I hate most social interactions, even if I know the people I am socializing with. I am very self conscious, have a low self esteem and no self confidence. In school, I don’t answer question because I fear that if they are wrong, comments will be made about me that aren’t necessarily nice. Such as people calling me stupid and things similar to that. If I must speak, my voice replays through my head and I imagine how others would hear it, and that makes me extremely anxious, to the point where I absolutely can’t be in the room. At that point I will ask to go to the bathroom and sort of “cool down”, that is if I can gather the confidence to get up in front of everyone and ask the teacher. Most social situations make me anxious, specifically new situations, such as new areas or a change in schedule and especially interactions where I don’t know the person I am speaking with. Even if it is online chat.. Another odd thing, I can’t stand talking to people that I don’t know on the phone, like a customer service or something for a corporation (such as Verizon Wireless) out of fear of them ridiculing me. I have no relations with the opposite sex (I am straight and I am positive.) and it doesn’t seem like anything is going to give anytime soon. I can honestly say that I feel as though I would have no friends if they did not first talk to me, and introduce me to some of their friends (which also makes me severely anxious). I am told that I lack empathy and do not pick up on social cues, like sarcasm and figures of speech. For example: If someone were to say “fly like the wind”, I would say in my head “WTF? the wind doesn’t fly?” I rarely make eye contact when I engage in speech with someone. If a subject that I am knowledgeable about, or one of my current “obsessions” I will not shut up about it. To the point where the other person can hardly get a word in. I can’t talk to anyone about this. Just because of the way I feel they will think of me after I tell them. I often do things on impulse, and end up regretting it later. I have minor OCD traits, such as only using the same size bowl or spoon all the time. Only getting Xbox 360 games in absolute mint condition, with the manual and original case, with the original receipt inside the game box. I don’t step on cracks in sidewalks or floor tiles, unless they are the very small ones where it is impossible. I have to place my cell phone in a specific place next to my bed every night while it charges. I have these extremely morbid thoughts. Like crazy serial killer shit. Things that if I told to people they would NEVER want to even talk to me ever again. Seeing movies like the “Saw” series makes me want to do terrible things to people. I have mild paranoia in my opinion. I don’t do risky things because I feel like I am being watched, by like a hidden camera or something. In fact, I think everything I am writing is being recorded by a keystroke recorded on my computer. I think about suicide multiple times a day. I like looking at pictures of dead bodies of people who committed suicide and reading stories about the families of people who committed suicide. Like previously said, I like looking at things like that but at the same time it makes me want to kill myself. I have never revealed this to anyone, but I tried to kill myself in November 2009. I took many excedrin extra strength, and I figured since it has blood thinner in it that I could just cut myself and bleed to death. But I realized that I shouldn’t do this, and I forced myself to throw up all of the pills. I feel like I have no emotions except for anger and sadness. I have limited facial expressions and do not feel happy when good things happen to me. My sleep pattern is poor. As I type this, it’s 4:30 a.m. I will sleep until 3:00 p.m. or so. I went to a counselor, but he felt that my problems were because of a poor sleeping pattern. Which is obviously not true because I am always well-rested for school. I have cut myself before, on my thigh. I did it to make sure I was still alive and capable of feeling. I did it on my thigh so no one could see it. Pretty good idea, right? No. I feel worthless and like I have no place in this world. I honestly do not think I will fit in correctly in the rest of society after I graduate high school. (Or college, I might not apply

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